Heresy of the Month

Like a Child

I haven't had a lot to say for the last couple of days, because I have been a bit overwhelmed.  I want to thank all of you for your generosity and love.  Your prayers and support have been incredible.  We even received gifts and prayers from people we didn't know, and it is a wonderful thing to make new friends and connections.  We were able to get through all of our payments for March.  In a couple of weeks, I may be a little worried again, but God is good!  Thank you.  From our whole family, sincerely, thank you. 

We still have no idea where all of this is headed, and I have expanded my search to include the rest of the US.  If I need to go global, I will.  I have always fancied myself an "International Man of Mystery", so we will see if God confirms that.

 

This leads into what I want to talk about today.  In my small group the other night, we were talking about the faith of a child.  Jesus seems to affirm and bless a child-like faith.  We had the chance to discuss it a bit in small group, but, as always, I cannot just let it go at that.  I have been thinking about it ever since.

I was contemplating these questions as the core of my prayer and searching:

1. What is a child?
2. What, specifically, are the central characteristics of the prototypical child that Jesus is focusing on encouraging us to emulate?
3. Where are the gaps between those characteristics and those that are typical of myself and other, sincerely seeking adults?
4. Ultimately, is it possible for those gaps to be bridged?  If so, what aspects of that bridging work are in our area of control, what aspects belong to God alone, and how can we cooperate with God in that movement toward health?

My goal is to come to a solid and clean, all-encompassing answer to all of those questions in the next 700 or so words.  Okay, I'll maybe settle for scratching the surface in this post, and we'll leave the rest for next time.

Children are wonderful, miraculous gifts of God.  They are constant reminders to us of the need to discover and mine this life for all of the magical and awe-inspiring realities it can offer.  Life, for a child, is an adventure, driven by an insatiable curiosity and infused with an openness and surrender that reshapes life into a constant, all-or-nothing proposition. 

Do you remember what that was like?  Did you ever even have that in your life?  I have trouble, myself, digging through the years of mortgages, failures, hurts, ruined plans, fatigue, and betrayals to re-engage with the younger Bill.  The one who was not afraid to dream and try.  I need to make plans.  I need to know what is expected of me.  I need to know that my efforts will result in success.

The main characteristic to which Jesus was pointing in children, I believe, was their innate trust.  You cannot ask a child if their father is good.  Of course he is.  He's the Dad.  Even if the guy is the biggest scum on the planet, a child will still say that their Dad is Dad.  Of course he is good.  There seems to be a shift in thinking for the child that comes with adolescence, but that is also when a child learns about the adult realities of addiction, blame-shifting, and manipulation.  Dad no longer gets a free pass.

However, Jesus was talking about little children, yet untainted by the realities of a sinful world.  The trust of a little child goes hand in hand with their openness.  They are little sponges, absorbing all of the information and stimulus they can receive in their hearts and minds.  They eventually hit capacity, and they crash into a deep sleep, ready to do it all again in the morning.  Because of their youth, they have no tools for processing what they have absorbed through the day.  That requires critical thinking and the ability to step outside of their realities a bit to look at their lives in any kind of meaningful self-assessment.  Those tools will not be developed for quite some time.  In fact, there are many middle-aged adults I know who still don't have critical thinking capabilities.  In the meantime, children are free to take in everything, their minds like a huge aqueduct, free of any gates, valves, or other controls.  Children receive everything unfiltered and unchecked.  And the key term in this is "innate".  It is who they are.  It is their identity.  They are, by their hardwired makeup, open and trusting.

There are some aspects of children that Jesus would most likely not want to see emulated as well.  Children are completely myopic and self-absorbed.  They only know how to take care of their own needs and desires.  There is no existence outside of their immediate, personal environment.  The world belongs to them, and it exists to serve them.  Little brats.  They are also almost completely ignorant.  As sponges, they are a blank slate.  They have no way of thinking through action and consequences.  They simply cannot process, because of a lack of ability to think critically, the deeper implications of words, thoughts, and actions.  I am not sure Jesus would want us to give up being thinking people, checking our intellect at the door of our churches.  But, as is often said, ignorance is bliss, and kids are blissful.  They should be locked up.

I say that a bit tongue-in-cheek, but I did not really like kids before we had our own.  As a matter of fact, I still, for the most part, do not like other people's children.  I have trouble refraining from casting silent judgment on the approach of other parents.  So, there's some of my ugly sin.  If you are a parent and know me personally, and you are worried that I may have judged you, let me calm your fears.  I probably have.  At the same time, I am a messy, broken, sinful idiot, who has been blessed and just barely lucky enough to keep my kids from killing each other or themselves in freak accidents.  If you are parenting to get my approval, you have bigger problems than knowing the right way to raise your children. I'm the LAST person who would be qualified to judge other parents.  In other words, you are doing great.  Don't worry about me.  Just please keep your kids from running around the restaurant, thinking everyone else in the place has raised eyebrows as a result of how darned adorable your kids are.  I have a few other things, but lets start with that. ;)

Okay, I can hear my wife, though she's 1800 miles away, admonishing me to get back on track and wrap this thing up.

The openness of children can be met with mercy, love, and endless grace.  Unfortunately, it can also be met with betrayal, cruelty, and abuse.  We pour our very adult fears, anxieties, frustrations, and dysfunctions into our children.  Yet, because of the defining characteristic of open trust, our children will keep coming back, time and again, always believing that we are good.  As we grow to adulthood, we begin to think critically, and that causes us to become cynical.  We always wait for the other shoe to drop.  We hesitate from running into the open arms of a father figure, because we have been met by a fist, rather than an embrace is the past.  I mean that metaphorically, though many of us have had our trust rewarded with a literal fist, causing untold damage and disintegration of our personal realities.  I really believe that God's judgment will be all about how we, as a people, have treated our children.  That will be a scary day.

I think back on when my kids were small, and they would make up incredibly involved games, usually involving a ball, trees, bikes, a net or two, sticks, the dog, and usually some random, very sharp object.  Like I said, my parenting philosophy is based on dumb luck.

My mission statement: Help them survive until adulthood.  Save up to help them with therapy. Quit while you're ahead.

Their games were very intricate with no discernible rules whatsoever.  There was a lot of running, falling, screaming, and giggling.  Now that I think about it, it was amazing that they were all able to play the same game, often for hours, without any difficulties.  They weren't bothered by the fact that there were no rules, evidenced by the fact that my late removal of the afore-mentioned sharp object from the field of play did not affect the game at all.  I would think the object would be a pivotal part of the game, with how often it was wielded, but they were fine with its absence.  They also had no sense of competition.  I have realized recently the level to which competition is an adult-introduced concept.  We take children who are delightfully unaware of rules, and we put them in organized sports, because it "teaches them discipline".  Sports are good for that, but they are also learning competition and a dependency on rules for guidance.  Once our kids did sports, free play ended, and fighting with each other about fairness and rule-breaking ensued.  I love sports, but I am raising the question.

Back when they were little, they would be running, screaming, laughing, kicking the ball, hitting the dog with the bat, jumping on and off bikes, catching each other in the nets in a tumultuous vortex of mud, sweat, fur, barking, laughter, tears, and shouting.  Then, suddenly, Grace (my eldest) would jump up and yell, "We all win!"  They would all let out a huge cheer, hug each other, hug the dog, and then come and ask me for food. 

It's just amazing to me.  I think the key to this might be identifying exactly why, as adults, we need to have rules, a planned outcome, or even a point in order to move forward.  God kind of brought me up short this weekend about this very topic.  As the generosity and love of the people in our lives helped us get caught up on March, I was immediately thinking like a well-trained adult.  We are already halfway through March, with rent and mortgage due again in two weeks.  I was also close to the Kingdom, thinking like a child.  I was completely feeling sorry for myself, because my current situation overwhelms me.  I have no control.

I approached God and asked why this all happened.  God, you told me that I should go to Seattle.  Everything fell into place.  I had a good job, and affording an apartment wasn't difficult.  I would have that job for at least a year, giving me time to find a new job, without desperation or stress.  I would move the family here, and we would settle in Bellevue, where our kids could attend great schools, and Eli could play football.  We would be close to the church and to work.  And, you know what God?  Since you did such a great job setting all of this in place, I might even be willing to plant a church again one day.  That's how impressed I was with you, God, upon coming out here.  You promised me all of this, and it is all gone and up in the air now.  Why did none of this work?  I followed the rules, it was supposed to work out.  Why did you promise me all of this, only to take it away?

God did not smack me or shame me for asking these questions.  God put on my heart, in a very clear and strong impression, "I never said any of that.  I said, "Go to Seattle."  You obeyed and went.  Good job!  You are faithful to me, Bill.  You did exactly what I asked you to do, but the rest of those plans are all you.  What if I only intended on having you here for a couple of months?  What if I have something even better for you somewhere else?  Remember, I am good.  You are mine.  My plans and my reasons are mine.  You will get your next instructions at the exact right time.  Obey, just like before, and you will see my glory."

Okay, God.  Got it.  I am supposed to be like a child.  Regardless of circumstances pointing to the contrary, my God is good.  Enjoy the game.  Play.  Stop trying to figure out the rules, what's expected of you, and how to win.  Very often, in this fallen world, people who play by the rules are not rewarded with the win.  Stop making elaborate game plans for winning in the first place.  Those just set up your expectations and your vision to be too small, and then you miss what God is doing.  Stop caring about the rules.  Stop thinking like you have to do "A", in order to receive "B".  Sometimes people do "A" very conscientiously and well, only to die in a car accident right before receiving "B".  Sometimes people give no time and attention to "A", and they get "B" anyway. 

God keeps counsel only with God.  I need to work on being open to being transformed by God to have trust and openness become innate and characteristic of my identity again.  I do "A", because God told me to do "A".  "B" is completely God's domain, and it is none of my business.  If I let go of my clinging to cause-and-effect rule following, but I discern and think clearly and critically along the way, I can truly be like a child.  I can play for the love of play, rather than to have a point or a desired outcome.  My desired outcome is that, at the end of the day, I said "Yes" to God.  Ultimately, my hope is in the fact that God is good.  God will give me all I need to do "A", and, instead of "B" (my idea of desired outcome), God will give me 

"B" (God's desired outcome).

I just want to play!

 

So, what do you think?  Am I on to something here, or is this just wish-fulfillment and silliness on my part?  How can we exist as children in a culture filled with rule-following cynics?  What are some other key gaps between childlike faith and our adult faith that need bridging?

Counteracting the Karaoke Society

So, how do we follow Jesus in a Karaoke society?  Since I hate when writers and leaders present all of the problems without any solutions, I won't do that.  But it's not as simple as "The Four Steps to Bringing Creativity Back Into the World for Dummies".  I think our path to finding some possible solutions to this problem begins with understanding why we have the problem in the first place.

I have been reading an excellent book by Edwin Friedman, titled: "A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix".  I highly recommend the book.  It has utterly revolutionized my thinking on leadership and authority.  In the book, Friedman talks about how there is a real problem in all leadership training throughout the world.  Leaders go through all kinds of training and read all kinds of leadership books.  When they face, what Friedman calls "sabotage", they fold and surrender their authority.  That sabotage is usually in the form of actual, conscious attempts by those being led to undermine the authority of the leader.  He says that the traditional methods of training fail, precisely because they are too linear.  The leader makes a decision.  This leads to certain consequences.  Either those being led will agree or disagree with the decision.  The leader then must move forward.  People will either fall in line or they won't.  Real life doesn't work that way, and it certainly isn't linear.  In the book, Friedman says that every decision is a defining of the leader.  When the leader makes that decision, s/he becomes more defined and stands out more from the crowd.  That changes the relational dynamic between leader and others.  This change causes tension and dissonance in the person being led, because change always does that.  So, every decision is met with sabotage.  The leader, who has been trained in only in causality in leadership, then sees all sabotage as a personal betrayal.  It usually comes from the people closest to the leader, because they have more to lose in the changing of the relational dynamic.  So, not wanting to have a friendship broken, the leader crawls back into his/her hole, licking wounds, and trying to decide if it's worth it to try to ever make a decision again.  According to Friedman, it is not about cause and effect.  It is about the organic presence of the leader.  It is about the willingness of the leader to always expect sabotage from those closest to themselves, and to deal with the core fear and uncertainty that the sabotage represents.  In so doing, the leader becomes more well-defined, the decision stands firm, and perhaps the relationship grows stronger through the displayed efforts toward intimacy.

I have not finished the book, yet, but I think the problem Friedman points out is the issue that is at the heart of the Karaoke society.  We don't want people to step out and be creative, because the dynamic changes.  If an actor is repeatedly making great films, s/he will remain in obscurity, because it makes the general public begin to want great performances all the time.  That means that no one will pay to see a film like Hangover 2 ever again.  There is a vested interest on the part of the entire culture to keep creativity and real art out of the limelight and in the margins.  Raised expectations would destroy our ability to be lazy and money-hungry in our art.  So we sabotage the creative ones who start defining themselves.  We want to keep the status quo.  Really creative people force us to no longer be satisfied with the status quo.  We start to long for something greater than ourselves.  We see that we, as the human race, have the potential for much, much more.

So, how do we resist the increasingly Karaoke culture?  How do we turn it around?  Our level of success in being counter-cultural, our level of creativity and intelligent accomplishment is directly proportional to our level of risk-tolerance.  God has created us to be who we are.  EXACTLY who we are.  God made me big, loud, and obnoxious.  I've said this before, but there is a destiny for me, designed by God, that which only a big, loud, and obnoxious guy like me can possibly be the one to accomplish it.  That means God wants me to be defined as me.  God likes me.  No matter how much the larger culture wants to limit me, because I don't fit the Karaoke mold, I was made for such a time as this.  I know that being me will bring some backlash.  I expect it, and I embrace it.  When it comes from people I love, I will embrace them.  I know there is so much more that God wants us to experience in this beautiful Creation, and I refuse to settle for only what the culture tells me I can have.  I never gave the culture permission to act as a gatekeeper for me.  So, why should I allow it do have that power?

The reason why we abdicate our personal power and authority to the cuture is out of fear.  We have an obsession, especially in this country, with safety.  We want to always be safe and secure, don't we?  We want to keep our children in a bubble, so that they never get hurt and never have to work really hard at anything.  They should have what they want, their dreams should come true (according to Disney), because they are entitled to it.  As long as they fit the Disney formula, they will get it.  We want to be absolutely, positively sure that we are 100% safe on every flight we take.  We want to anticipate and manage risk.  We want fire safety, toy safety, food safety, drug safety, gun safety, travel safety, financial security, prenuptual agreements (so that even our marriages have controlled risks), internet safety, and school safety.  We want to eliminate bullies (because our kids won't ever have to face bullies as adults, so why empower them to do so now?).  We want to blame McDonalds for the obesity of our children, to blame the schools for not raising them right, and to blame school lunch programs for our kids drinking 10 cans of soda a day.  We want heat in the winter and air conditioning in the summer.  We want to always control the temperature, the conditions, and the people around us.  We want to never, ever face discomfort at any point in our lives.  And, furthermore, we don't want the inconvenience of having to pay taxes to make sure we have all of these comforts.  I have news for you and for every person living in the United States: None of us gets out of this thing alive.  I promise you, regardless of how many measures you take to protect yourself, this life is going to kill you.

That's the truth!  You assume a certain amount of risk just getting up in the morning.  And, as I told the group last week, the idea of risk management is a myth.  It's fantasy.  As a matter of fact, look up risk management on Google.  You will see that almost every major published Economist has written a paper recently, saying that our current financial disaster is the direct result of the false belief that risk can be anticipated and managed.  It's a joke!  We're all screwed!!

Not really.  We just have to remember what Jesus always said to the disciples: "Do not be afraid".  We also have to remember that He hardly ever said, "Be really, really careful.  Be safe.  Manage risk."  I think he is quoted as saying that in the NWST (New Wall Street Translation), but maybe it was only in the notes of the Investors Devotional Bible version of that translation.  But, I digress.  The best part of what Jesus DID say (Do not be afraid), was that usually Jesus, himself, was the one who had caused the disciples to feel fear, tension, and anxiety in the first place!  Jesus was awesome at messing with their feelings of comfort.  As soon as they thought they were starting to get that this guy was really the Messiah, he started talking about dying on a cross.  He changed all of the rules of what being a Messiah meant!  When Peter corrected Jesus on that issue, Jesus called him Satan.  This was right after telling Peter that he would be building the Church on him.  Jesus was always causing cognitive and cultural dissonance, as Ken Wilson pointed out to us at the Vineyard National Conference.  Every encounter with Jesus results in our discomfort.  This is absolutely counter to the Karaoke culture's dogma of predictability, safety, and comfort above all else.

I remember, as a kid, playing with real Jarts,  the ones with the super-sharp, rusty, metal points on the end.  We used to all stand in a group and throw a jart straight up in the air over our heads.  The one who would win that game was the one who would run away last.  It was like a great game of chicken!  We had to see how long we could stand being under a deadly projectile plummeting directly toward our heads.  How awesome!  Being a kid was so much fun back then!  I have no idea why they made those illegal.  We would ride our bikes all over town in the summer, refusing to come home until our parents sent the police looking for us.  We would go into old, abandoned houses, making up ghost stories about the family that had lived there, until they were slaughtered by Jason or Freddy.  We would explore the forests near our house and scare teenagers who were making out there.  We would play baseball in the park for hours.  We would go swimming in the nearby lakes and rivers.  We played full-on tackle football without protective pads or headgear.  For that matter, we also played tackle basketball, tackle soccer, tackle fishing, tackle chess, etc.  We would climb all over the car on road trips, unrestrained by seat belts or car seats.  My brother and I went by ourselves to a Chicago Cubs game at Wrigley, taking the bus and the "L", when I was only in middle school.  We were kings and queens of the world, and we ruled absolutely!  Then, we all got safe.

How do we fight a Karaoke society, I ask again?  We get unsafe.  We embrace the truth that Jesus wants us to feel tension.  All the time.  Jesus doesn't want us to be afraid, because fear freezes us.  But He also doesn't want us getting real comfortable.  He wants us to realize that many of the scriptures we use to comfort ourselves - like Romans 8:28: "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." - were actually written by people who were later stoned to death, crucified, set on fire, or fed to lions for loving Jesus and being called according to his purpose.

So what did Jesus mean, when he told us to "count the cost" of following him?  I think that is the     central question here, because how we answer that question will determine whether we go along with the Karaoke culture, or we live free.  I have heard it taught as a cost/benefit analysis, in order to determine to what level we will follow Jesus - much like setting up two lists of "pros" and "cons".  This has led to a lukewarmness and a safety in being a Christian.  Churches have thrown away social justice (taking care of the widows and the orphans), because it is far too radical, risky, and inconvenient.  Then, these fools and hypocrites call all social justice efforts "heresy", so that they can protect themselves from actually having to obey Jesus.  In their cost/benefit analysis, Jesus would never call us to stretch ourselves by parting with our riches.  He wants us to be rich and comfortable in our first-class accommodations for our journey to the Streets of Gold.  As a matter of fact, in our cost/benefit analysis, Jesus would never want us to suffer and die, so lets invent a secret Pre-Tribulation Rapture, where we all get rescued before we get inconvenienced or suffer in any way.  No, when these people count the cost of discipleship, there isn't any.  It's all victory, safety, and glory - as long as you fit the formula.

Then, there are those of us who don't see "Counting the Cost" as a cost/benefit analysis at all.  I don't think Jesus intended for us to set up pros and cons.  I think he's saying that following him will actually cost us everything.  It will cost us our lives.  We may even have our lives end in painful and uncomfortable ways.  Whatever you cling to the most, even if it's your own faith and set of doctrine, will be the exact thing that you have to surrender first.  Is it risky?  Absolutely.  What he calls us to will stretch us to the point of breaking.  Is he safe?  Haven't you listened to a thing I've said?  Of course he is isn't safe!  But he's good!  He's the King, I tell you!  Following him will cost you everything, but it goes way beyond the petty sacrifice of our lives.  His Kingdom stands over and against this world, because it is so much greater, more beautiful, more powerful than I am or that my life is worth.  Don't you miss the adventure and quickening of your spirit when you discover something greater than yourself?  Something actually worth dying for?  I want to be inspired again.  I want to be free again.  I want to break the rules and stop trying to calculate risk.  Then, when I am attacked, I use that to bring others with me into this "greater thing" that God is doing.

Following Jesus in a Karaoke Society

I'm back.  Things have been crazy.  I am building a new blog site for Heresy of the Month.  I am going to transfer all of this over to the new site, when it is completed.  I started this blog with the intention of just writing some of my thoughts down, as I wrestle with some things for writing a book on discipleship and following Jesus.  It is mostly a "Following Jesus in a Consumer Society for Dummies" type of book, on which I include myself in the "Dummies" category.  It is a book for people who are looking for a way in, without having to adopt the heavy yoke of cultural Christianity.  In other words, it is a book for people who are not currently Christian, or who were at one time, but have found that designation to have more baggage than it was worth.

All that being said, I have not been very intentional about this blog, because I was just using it to start to formulate and chew on ideas for the book.  I wasn't going to promote it as a thing in itself.  Then the whole thing took on a life of its own.  I suddenly found myself getting many emails thanking me for the content and thoughtfulness of the posts.  That was really cool, but it was very unexpected.  Now, when I don't post for a while, I get lots of emails asking me for another one.  We have had a lot of new people come and visit the church because of the blog.  I have been approached by job recruiters for writing and editing positions.  Electronic and print publications have contacted me.  Don't worry, none of this is going to my head.  It just has all been a little overwhelming, and  I am excited about it at the same time.  So, I have realized that I need to ramp this up a bit, and make it more professional, focused, and "for real".  I have been spending a lot of writing time getting things set up to build a more versatile and interactive blog site.  I will (hopefully) unveil it in a couple of weeks.

All of this leads to my post for today.  I have been thinking a lot about creativity and passion lately.  My friend, TamaraOutLoud, wrote an incredible post (she always writes incredible posts) about her liberation as a nerd, entitled "Nerd Is the New Cool".  You should check it out.  Her writing is awesome!  1980's AWESOME!  But this post was right in the wheelhouse of what I've been thinking about.  I talked about this at my training a bit last week, but I didn't have time to develop it fully.

We live in a Karaoke Society.  There is a great Ted Talk from Malcolm McLaren that inspired me, called "Authentic Creativity vs. A Karaoke Society".  You should check it out.  It is a great lecture that serves as a plea for moving out of this carbon-copy type of approach, that is so prevalent in our world today.

You see, that is the exact problem.  No one creates anything new anymore.  No one dares to try something risky and innovative.  Take a look at the performing arts as an example.  Once the formula was created for contest reality television by the producers of Survivor, every network and every producer kept stamping out carbon copies of that show.  Then, suddenly, reality shows come out about New Jersey, and then every network and producer wants to make a show with white trash from Jersey.  Madonna shocked the world, when she burst on the scene in the 80s.  Now, Lady Gaga is an absolute copy of the formula that worked back then.  Even her riffs and chord progressions are exactly the same.  If you don't believe me, listen to her "Born This Way", and then listen to Madonna's "Express Yourself" - same themes, same melody, same everything.  I didn't like Madonna's music, and I like the Lady Gaga shock, glam rock copy even less.  With "Dark Knight", comic book movies have broken into the cultural imagination.  There are 6 comic book movies being released this year, with many more slated for next year.  The massive production costs and problems of the Spider-man Broadway musical have not stopped them from believing in the miracle of the comic book formula.  I'm not really complaining about the comic book thing, because I love them.  I will see every one of those movies.  But I am making a point about our refusal to try anything new.

These contest shows, reality shows, pop music, crime shows, the Disney Machine, World Series of Poker, Lindsay Lohan, and all of the other pop culture garbage that is fed to us and our children creates a completely unrealistic understanding of the world.  It destroys our priorities and core values.  It sedates and innoculates us, keeping us from wanting more.

Just examining the American Idol phenomenon, one can see some very telling symptoms of a damaged culture.  A person no longer has to work, struggle, suffer, pay their dues, fight for what they want, go through years of poverty, or commit to pursuing their dreams.  There is no risk.  After a 12-week show, you will either have a music career, or you won't.  The contestants are crying, many of them only 16 years old, and they speak of the intensity of this "journey".  It's not a journey at all, but a sprint.  I liken it to giving a magic pill to a toddler that will make him or her into an adult in only 12 weeks.  The growing pains are intense, but they reach adulthood so fast, that the pain is quickly forgotten.  It sends a message to our children that nothing good is worth work and sacrifice.  All good things should just drop on your lap.  The statistics that less than 2% of all aspiring actors, musicians, artists, writers, or athletes actually "make it" professionally still hold true.  The talent show formula sends the massage that it is much more like 50%-75% make it.  We quickly forget about the hundreds of thousands that didn't even get an audition.  We can all be rock stars!  There's lots of room!  You don't have to work or sacrifice!  We'll give it to you!  The fine print says, "...as long as you fit our formula."  People who take risks and are uniquely, authentically creative get eaten up by the pop culture machine.  You conform to the formula, or you go to the artistic trash heap.

World Series of Poker has shown us that millions can be made from playing cards.  I have seen MIT grads who go from poker tournament to poker tournament, focused on winning lots of money, their heart's ambition and dreams long since forgotten.  They could be curing cancer, creating sustainable fuels, or solving global food and water crises.  Instead, they are immersed in a culture of greed, drugs, sex, and gambling.

Brilliant, potential computer engineers are wasting away in their mom's basement, playing World of Warcraft or hacking into servers to steal identities as a way to fund their worthless lifestyle.  They could be transforming medical technology to help doctors more efficiently work to heal patients.  They could be getting married and loving their families into life, raising beautiful, powerful, creative kids who take risks to better humanity.

If you are going to write a book about politics, it had better fit with either the Fox News formula on the far right or the MSNBC formula on the far left.  The only other option is to go so satirical that you are hilarious, but the vast majority of the population cannot grasp your esoteric delivery.  Your point gets lost to the masses in your satire.  This is the Comedy Central formula.  Whatever the case, you must be controversial and shocking.  Don't be a creative person with thoughtful suggestions for moderate step-by-step change.  Instead, its finger-pointing and shocking, "sky-is-falling" rhetoric that sells books.  Huge, sweeping generalities and lazy stereotyping save time and allow for a book to be written in days instead of months.  Why research, when American Idol has shown us that a book deal should be handed to you, because "YOU DESERVE IT!"? 

"Obama is the Antichrist!"  "Bush was a power hungry war monger!"  "Gays want to get married, so they can take money from hard working Americans!  In fact, everyone (except corporations - they're nice) wants to take the money of hard-working Americans."  "The GOP wants to kill unions, so that they can start a Nazi State in America!"  The generalities and stereotyping comes from both sides.  No healthy dialogue, just shooting back and forth.

If you want to sell a book about faith, it needs to be extremely controversial or extremely safe.  As we've seen with Rob Bell, you don't even need to publish the book to have people comment and fight over it, building unbelievable momentum and word-of-mouth marketing.  The book really wasn't that controversial, if you read it.  He didn't deny Hell or any of the other heresies of which he was accused.  I have never seen such incredible evidence of this Pop Culture domination as I saw in that whole fiasco.  I hope they do a study on it sometime, because it is a fascinating reflection of how religious leaders, like John Piper and others, have sold their souls to the consumerist, formulaic approach of culture.  Without even reading the book themselves (reflecting the lack of research and laziness I pointed out earlier), they opened fire on Rob Bell, helping him sell millions of copies more than he would have sold in the first place.  Bell's publisher is brilliant, releasing only the most controversial questions of the book.  The book, itself, was anti-climactic and boring, compared to the hype.  Those subscribing to the conservative, Christian formula created the perfect storm.  They continued to NOT read the book, for fear of being led astray, and they continued to publicly fire arrows at Bell, drumming up more interest in the book.  I have never before seen a situation where an author would want a particular group to keep not reading his book and to continue to critique it.  The earthquake in Japan and the Assassination of Bin Laden finally took the air out of those tires.  On the safe side, you can write a formulaic fluff book.  One of the best-selling books of all time, "Purpose Driven Life", fits in this category.  Warren is going in a great direction early in the book, seemingly going deep into who we are in God, only to resurface quickly, turning the book into an infomercial for his other "Purpose Driven" materials.  Osteen's "Your Best Life Now" is the perfect American Idol book.  It says that God wants to just pour out your destiny on you right now!  He came to give you life to the full right now!  It can all fall in your lap right now!  Absolute fluff.  It denies the reality of the vast majority of the population who have to work, sacrifice, and struggle for many years, for whom the movement toward our destiny is, in fact, a journey.

Look, here's my point (and, I believe, McLaren's point in his lecture), the Karaoke society celebrates the uncreative and the stupid.  We laugh at the girls from Jersey, and we think all people from Jersey are like that.  It's easier to make that assumption than to go and get to KNOW people from Jersey.  Eventually, the reality begins to reflect the fantasy.  People in Jersey begin to act and become like the people from Jerseylicious.  We are told by the culture how to behave.  We are given, and we accept, our identity, as it is given to us by the culture.  Will and Grace taught gay men how they should behave.  I know some gay men who are not conscious of their clothing and looks.  They work hard and enjoy sports.  But, now they not only have to battle with their sexual identity, but they also have to go through a cultural identity crisis.  As an Evangelical pastor, I am told by the larger culture that I should be unabashedly Republican.  I should fear and resent postmodernism.  I should be judgmental and publicly rebuke those who disagree with me.  I should never speak, unless I am 100% sure I am right.  I cannot think creatively.  Instead, I should parrot what everyone before me has said.  Ugh.

It is dangerous to take the risk and be creative.  If you stick your head out from the masses to be authentic and really you, you will immediately be met with sabotage.  We are supposed to remain stupid, because "Stupid is Cool".  We are supposed to sound incredibly clever (in 140 characters or less), while still remaining stupid.  If you have to work for something, it is not worth doing.  It is not meant to be.  It should be handed to you, like a winning lottery ticket, or it's not real.  I loved the Justin Bieber movie, and I am now a big fan of the Bieber.  I saw a kid who refused to join the Disney or Nickelodeon machine.  He literally rode around on a bus from radio station to radio station, playing his guitar for DJs and singing, just to finally get his shot.  He was fearless, dedicated, and driven.  One could argue that he has a carbon-copy sound, but at least his dream wasn't handed to him.

I have learned that the magic pill approach is detrimental to real health and character development.  If our whole life is a pop song, and the need for a "good hook to sell singles" is our focus, where is the authenticity?  Where do we find real creativity?  How can we be healthy, complete people with our identity in following Jesus?  I will do more on this in the next post, but I would love your thoughts.  Am I overstating it?  Is it true that our society tries to dictate our identity to us, or are we truly free to allow God to shape our future destiny?  How do we follow Jesus in a karaoke society?

Swing the Bat!!

My son, Eli, loves baseball.  He had a game tonight, and the village where he plays takes baseball very seriously.  The kids all have full uniforms.  The fields are great, with scoreboards, lights, umpires, concessions, and the whole big league deal.  That's pretty incredible, considering he is only in 4th grade.  We got him new socks, new shoes, new pants, new cup (he still thinks those are hilarious), and a new, big, fat, beautiful bat.  The problem is, I can't get him to swing the bat.

You see, Eli has a gigantic heart.  Everybody who meets Eli immediately falls in love with him.  He is so cool.  That was how we knew that the Rapture didn't happen.  We knew God would be thinking, "Where's Eli?  I love that kid!  We have to get him up here immediately!"  So, if Eli didn't get taken up, either the Rapture didn't happen, or we are all in trouble.  But getting away from eschatology, I simply find Eli to be one of the most delightful human beings that I have ever had the pleasure of knowing.  I know that I am his dad, but I just think he's a treasure. 

His older sister, Grace, is wonderful also, as is his younger sister, Maggie.  Maggie lives in the Enchanted Forest all the time, and she dwells there happily with all of her fairy and sprite friends.  Grace is 12, and she has been a teenager since she was one.  The sarcastic wit drips from her.  She was only two and a half and Eli was six months old, when we experienced the defining moment of their sibling relationship.  Grace had been speaking in full sentences for a few months at that point (the girl is brilliant), and we were sitting at the dinner table.  Her food was sitting on her plate, barely touched.  Eli was in his high chair, banging on the tray and making lots of noise.  Grace was just staring at him, then she turned back to us, rolling her eyes, and said, "Did you HAVE to have more children?"

Here is a classic Sergott conversation in the car.  As we were driving, we saw a neighbor walking with her daughter.  The mom had been incarcerated for over a year.  This is a true exchange, but the name of the daughter was changed for anonymity.  Events occur in real time (depending on how fast you read):

Maggie: Dad, will you buy me a pet unicorn?  I want one with purple stripes!

Me: Well, Mags, I think those are endangered, so I am not sure they allow people to have them as pets...

Maggie (a little dejected): ok...

Me (always wanting to keep her happy): I guess I could find a goat or a small alpaca and weld a horn to its head.

Maggie: AWESOME!!  As long as it has purple polka dots!!

Me: I thought you wanted purple stripes.

Maggie: PAPA!!!  Stripes are so last year!!  You should know that!!

Me: Sorry.

Eli (loving heart guy):  I think it is so great that Julie's mom is out of jail and can be home with her daughter.  It is so neat to see them together.  I know Julie really missed her mom.  She's only 8, and a kid that young really needs her mom around.  It makes me feel good to see them together.

Grace: Yeah, let's see how long she manages to stay out of jail this time...

Eli: Nice, Grace.

Grace: What?  Seriously, how long did she manage to stay out last time, a week?

Maggie: When I squint really hard at that cloud, it looks like one of Grandma's wine bottles.

Eli just loves everyone.  He always wants to make people happy, and he always assumes the best of everyone.  I get a little scared sometimes, because I think he may be too trusting of others.  I worry that someone will exploit that trust and take advantage of him.  I'm sure that will happen one day, but I just hope he can keep that loving kindness that is so a part of his character.  If he meets you and talks to you for 5 minutes, he will insist on a hug when you part ways.  I have seen him hug an employee at a store after she gave him directions to the restroom.  He will tell you that he will miss you, and he means it.  At night, he prays for people he met that day, and whatever problem they had.  He just does that on his own.  I never remember the names of people I met that day, so he didn't get that from me.  When you are talking to Eli, you are the single most important person in his world at that time, and he passionately loves you.  One time, he was at bat in one of his baseball games, and he was a little crabby.  He had struck out in his last time at the plate.  The coach yelled to him, "What's the matter, Eli?  Get focused!  What's the matter, you need a hug?"  Eli replied, from home plate, "Yeah!  I could actually use one!"  He set the bat down, in the middle of the game, and ran over to the coach and got a big hug.  The coach was actually really blessed by it.  He still tells the story, and that was three years ago.  He said it was his coolest moment ever in coaching.  That's Eli.

I can't, for the life of me, get him to swing the bat.  He watches pitch after pitch go by.  When he hits in the batting cages, he hits a ton.  The kid is passionate about baseball.  He loves the rhythm of it, the feel of it, the smell of it, and everything else about the game.  At 5 years old, he could sit through and be raptly attentive to a full major league baseball game on TV.  He is a big kid, and is one of the few in his age group that can hit the center field fence on the fly with a line drive.  His mechanics are great.  He has studied and perfected his swing.  It's awesome watching him work.  He has a beautiful, powerful swing, that he never uses in a game.  AGHHHHH!!!!  I told him that I want him, until further notice, swinging at everything.  I want him to jump back and swing at pitches that are completely behind him.  I want him to leap in the air and swing at pitches way over his head.  I want him to golf pitches that hit the ground before crossing the plate.  I will NEVER get upset when he strikes out, as long as all three strikes were swinging strikes.  I told him that he is 100% more likely to hit the ball if he swings.  I even threatened to put a shock collar on him to zap him every time the ball goes by without a swing attempt.

The kid second-guesses himself all the time.  In his love and care for others, I have realized that he is simply scared to decide.  He sees everyone, even the lost causes in his school, as heroes.  Some of that is awesome.  Some of that is really hard for me as a parent.  I see a kid who is brilliant, handsome, loving, a great communicator, funny, warm, talented, and downright incredible.  The kids at school voted him into student council.  He has tons of kids that follow him around and almost worship the ground he walks on.  Whenever I'm with him, lots of girls say, "Hi, Eeeelllliii!", in that way that only girls can.  You know, if you're a guy, THAT way.  It makes you feel all tingly and freaky inside, until you hit puberty.  Then it morphs into a feeling that is much more disturbing.  Eli hasn't hit puberty.  He is the biggest kid in his class.  In 4th grade, he is already in a men's 10 1/2 shoe.  He isn't fat, but he feels huge and unwieldy.  He doesn't like the way he stands out.  So, he doesn't notice that all the girls speak in their tingly way to him.  We have even taken him to the doctor and had the doctor tell him that he is not overweight at all.  His body just hasn't stretched out yet.  That scares him even more.  You mean, I'm going to be BIGGER??!?!  Because of that, he feels weird and sort of invalid.  No matter how we point this out to him, his people-pleasing and approval-seeking self can't receive it.  He is not depressed; just really unsure of himself. 

So, every pitch that comes at him is met with a whole storm of thought and personal baggage.  "Should I swing?  Is that a good pitch?  I don't know....it looks kinda high...  I wonder if Grandma is watching.  If I don't swing, dad is gonna shock me.  Maybe I will swing.  I just need to.."  Ump: "STRIKE THREE!!"  There is too much risk involved in not thinking and just swinging.  You know what you're doing Eli!!  You're awesome!! SWING THE BAT!!

Then it hits me.  Our kids are just smaller mirrors of ourselves.  My whole life I have let incredible opportunities pass me by, because I didn't know my own worth.  I was second-guessing and talking myself out of it all.  "You are way too obnoxious for Princeton or Oxford!  You are a dumb hick from Green Bay!  Who cares if they are willing to consider you for a fellowship?  They obviously haven't met you yet.  If they did, they would see that you are way out of your league with them.  Besides, what about having kids?  It is almost impossible to finish a doctorate while having and raising kids.  If you go to one of those institutions, you will be found out...exposed.  They will laugh you out of there.  Besides, your wife has put up with you in school for too long.  She deserves to have you earning a paycheck."  Bill, just SWING THE DAMN BAT!!  Time after time, moment after moment, I have felt personally unqualified, and so I let it pass.  Even when people saw the potential and the value of me, I was always afraid I would let them down.  I would be found out.

The only difference between people who achieve their dreams and people who don't is this: Dream achievers know their worth.  This doesn't mean they think they are the best in the world.  They are not necessarily arrogant or cocky.  As a matter of fact, real achievers know their shortcomings very well.  They have made a sober assessment of their failings.  They are willing to accept and embrace those and move on.  They know their gifts and abilities, so they don't over-think it.  They just swing away.  I'm realizing more and more that it's all about your level of risk tolerance.  Are you willing to risk it all and look stupid?  Are you willing to fail?  Are you willing to strike out swinging?  If not, you have no chance of ever hitting the ball - of reaching your dreams.  I have to let my kid see me risking more.  If I don't swing away and risk, why should I have that expectation for him?  I learn so much from my kids.  And you know what?  There is always another game and more at bats.  That is really good news!

 

***Update: He had another game tonight, and he was swinging like crazy.  Good man.